I Am Not Afraid

I feel a kinship with the Toad character from the “Frog and Toad” series by Arnold Lobel. Toad makes a list of all the things he needs to do one day, and when the list blows away he is crippled without it. The sensible Frog suggests they chase it, but Toad protests that “running after the list” was not on the list. In another story Frog suggests he and Toad need willpower to keep from eating an entire batch of cookies. The clever Frog feeds the cookies to the birds while Toad tells him to keep his willpower, he’s going home to bake a cake. But in my favorite story of the moment, even Frog doesn’t display his usual character traits.


In “Dragons and Giants” Frog and Toad want to be like the brave people who fight dragons and giants in a book they have read. As they face their fears together – a rock avalanche and animals that want to eat them for lunch – they run away, yelling, “I am not afraid!” They run quickly to Toad’s house and hide under the covers and in the closet, “just feeling very brave together.” I too want to be brave. Did you know that this spring I carried a patio umbrella containing three live mice? You didn’t? Well neither did I. At least not at the time or you can bet your sweet cookies I wouldn’t have carried it.

We live in a woodsy area. I don’t even want to know what traverses our backyard at night. But I do know that after an unusually high number of acorns in the fall, a relatively mild winter, and a wet spring, the mouse population is bustling. Plus, the neighborhood cat that used to roam around mysteriously disappeared at the end of last summer. This spring we had mice in the central AC unit and out in the shed (nesting in the patio umbrella). Up until a few weeks ago, any activity in the house had been relegated to the basement, and we had never actually seen a mouse, just evidence of one. I have a system to avoid them when I wake up early to exercise. I turn on the basement lights but wait a few minutes before going down. I am not afraid, of course.

Things got ugly when we realized there was at least one running around the rest of the house. The pest company examined the bait stations and assured me that it was only one or two. In the meantime we had purchased a couple of glue traps which we left near the dryer. Just in case. Not that there was still a mouse running around. I am not afraid, at any rate.

After many days of nothing, I went to the laundry room to get something from the shelf. Wait, is that a…? Yes, it was. A small, dead mouse on the glue trap. I was so brave (because I didn’t scream). I took my son to school and returned to deal with the mouse. Come on Michelle, you can do this, it’s dead. I put on my latex gloves. You are so brave. I got a plastic bag. You are not afraid. I reached for it, and as I pulled the glue trap toward me, I learned that the mouse WAS NOT DEAD! I am not afraid! Those little legs starting kicking as he tried to run away from me, but his little mousy body was stuck to the trap. I am not afraid! OK, yes I am.

It’s a good thing my husband is so brave so I can concentrate on making lists and baking cakes.