One of my favorite scenes from "A Christmas Story" is when Ralphie lets an expletive fly after dropping the lug nuts while his father changes a tire in the snow. The slow-motion close-up shows Ralphie saying, "Oh fuddddgggge," with this subsequent voice-over: "Only I didn't say fudge." When the father tells the mother what transpired, the mother lets out a blood-curdling scream.
When it was my turn, I went with the audible, stuck-in-throat gasp.
I knew we were pushing the envelope when we downloaded the uncensored versions of songs from iTunes. It was innocent, really. We couldn't find the 'clean' versions of "Rockstar" or "Boom Boom Pow" on iTunes. I make an effort not to curse in front of my 4-year-old son, and I guess I secretly hoped that he wouldn't notice the swear words in music if he wasn't hearing them from 'real people.' Even during the questionable language, like 'popping pills from a Pez dispenser,' I croon, "We're gonna pop our Pez from a Pez dispenser." Because in our house, that's the only thing that's coming out of a Pez dispenser.
Wishful thinking.
We were on a long car trip last weekend when Noah casually said, "Boom Boom Pow says shit a lot." Cue audible gasp. Cue husband's subdued laughter in front seat. Cue horror!
We stammered. Umm, uhhh, ummm... (secretly thinking, Oh my gosh he knows a CURSE word!!!) And then our NASCAR-loving kid looked out the window and said, "A tire's come off! We're gettin' loose Daddy!" Of course, no tire had actually come off of our car (and phew for that), but Noah had made an observation of the real world and then moved right back into the fantasy world he dwells in at least 70 percent of the time.
Crisis averted? I'm a little conflicted. Part of me says we ought to find those clean versions, and the other part of me says he'll probably hear it at the racetrack soon enough.
