The new 90210 makes me feel old. And not just because I can see the slight aging around Jennie Garth's eyes during the Kelly Taylor close-ups. My husband and I both think that the show's music -- intro, backgrounds, transitions -- is louder than the original series. Is it, or are we just more sensitive to it? I started noticing that a long time ago...probably around my mid-twenties at the entrance of an Abercrombie and Fitch store. Why was the music so loud and the clothes so wrinkly? I fled to Banana Republic.
The volume of music is not the only issue. In conversations with background music, I usually can't make out what the characters are saying. Sadly I have AARP-card-carrying relatives with this same problem in everyday life. (Is this how it starts -- with TV?)
And even if I do make out what they're saying, someone went and changed all the slang I knew in high school. At one point, Annie got a text from her date that said something like, "I had to bowl to catch [some musical act I've already forgotten]." At least that's what I think it said. I had no idea what he meant by "bowl," especially since they were at a bowling alley. I wondered why he was staying to bowl if he had to leave. My husband explained that "bowl" probably meant leave. Urbandictionary.com confirms that "bowl" can mean "to leave someplace," among other more interesting definitions. Why not bail? Maybe it was bail but again, my declining hearing...(it's the iPod-listening, not my age, I swear). At any rate, I'm sure the message looked more like this: A I M BLG CU L8R. Rendering it completely incomprehensible to anyone over the age of 25.
And finally, the show's plot reflects how much more we cram into life these days. In the premiere, Annie passed an old essay to a friend who then plagarized it. In the next scene, Annie and her brother left for a party without waiting for their parents' approval. And later in the episode, Annie flew to San Francisco for dinner with a guy she barely knows. All of this in a two-hour episode, and the only punishment (for the last infraction) is the prohibition of school-night dates. Hello?!? When Brenda drove to Mexico with Dylan, it was World War III in la casa de Walsh, with a lasting aftermath. Each of Annie's transgression would easily have been fodder for three or more episodes. It's no wonder I'm exhausted after an episode of the new 90210. Oh wait, that's because it's past my bedtime.
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