A Different Point of View, 15 Years Later

You know you're old when...

I'm blaming parenting as the force that pushed me over the line between young and old. I don't mean old as in creaky knees and cloudy vision. I mean old as in "being a square," to borrow a term from the 60s. (Was it the 60s? I'm old but not that old.) Nothing looks the same when you're a parent. In discussing age-related driving restrictions (for both the elderly and teens), my mom told me the story of a friend whose teenage son had recently got his license. The boy had assured his mom that he would never have more than one passenger with him on the way to or from his afterschool job. Mom knew better because two of his friends worked with him. She waited in the parking lot at quittin' time and nabbed her son trying to drive away with two passengers (against the law for his license status). Fifteen years ago I would have thought, "Wow, what a pain in the backside. Doesn't she have better things to do than lurk behind parked cars?" But upon hearing this story I thought, "Good for her! Good that she cared enough to check it out." And that's when I realized, yes, this is what old feels like. The knees are fine, the vision is great, but welcome to the world of college savings accounts and double-checking toy recall lists.

The parenting perspective carries over into the make-believe world too. Somehow we caught an episode of Different Strokes (nice flashback!) on TV. Arnold had snuck out to a party, leaving his 7-year-old stepbrother asleep at home. Alone. Of course the kid woke up and was freaked out. Granted, the Drummonds lived in an upscale building with a doorman, leaving little possibility of a burglar (although wasn't that another episode?). And granted, Gary Coleman isn't my first choice of sitter. But I couldn't help thinking, "What if there had been a fire?" or wondering if Arnold's careless abandonment had scarred little Sam for life. I wanted to ground Arnold myself. But I'm sure I saw the same episode 20 years ago and at the time hoped that Arnold wouldn't get caught sneaking out.

So I'm old but there's no turning back. Just don't let me catch you smoking.